Monday, February 27, 2012

Your Brain on Support

Laser Provision: February 26, 2012. I have written many times about the notion of a "Limbic hijack," when your emotions take over and your thinking gets pushed to the side. When that happens, we often succumb to "fight, flight, or freeze" responses. Fight relates to anger; flight relates to fear; freeze relates to grief. That was what I was going through last week when I sent out my Provision, Your Brain on Grief. I have received scores of condolences since that time and I have new appreciation for the power of empathy to soothe the Limbic system and to help us get back on track. What follows, then, is a selection of the things you wrote to me following the death of my mother. I can hardly thank you enough. Click here to share this out-pouring of support with me...

Your Brain on Grief

Laser Provision: February 19, 2012. Last week I shared with you that we were waiting with my mother in a hospital in Cleveland. At the time I wrote my short Provision we were only beginning to glimpse the severity of her condition. With blood clots in both lungs, damaging her heart and other internal organs, she was lucky to stay alive for one day, let alone for five. But stay alive she did, so that all of her children and grandchildren could make it to Cleveland in time to say goodbye.

The past ten days have been a blur with frequent sighs and tears as I and my family have come to grips with our loss. We were heartened by the outpouring of support we have received from people here at home and around the globe, including many of you with your replies to last week's Provision. I thank you for that. We were also heartened by the emerging recognition that my mother was staying alive to die on Valentine's Day. That day had special meaning for her.

My mother was one of 3 girls, separated in age by 7 years each. My mother was the youngest, her middle sister, Norma, was 7 years older, and her oldest sister, Geraldine, was 14 years older. When Norma turned 21, in 1938, she died of ulcerative colitis on her own birthday. My mother was very close to Norma, and Norma’s death was very formative in my mother’s life; it contributed to a lifetime of anxious concern for all her loved ones. To love someone, for my mother, meant that you worried about them. Indeed, my mother never ended a conversation with any of us without saying, “Be careful.”

Well, as it turns out, Norma’s birthday and dying day was Valentine’s Day, the same day my mother died. And that was no coincidence. At the hospital, all the doctors and at least one of her pastors were telling us that my mother might linger to the end of the week. But they didn’t know my mother. If anyone in her condition could will themselves to die on a particularly significant day, it would be my mother. When she went to the hospital, my mother told my sister, “Today is not my day.” That’s because Valentine’s Day, 5 days later, was her day. And she made it to that day, against all odds, just the way she wanted.

One of my mother's requests, for the at least the past ten years, was that I would officiate at her funeral. Today's Provision, then, is in her honor -- the only person I could count on, along with my father, to read my musings each and every week. Stacks of past issues are still printed out in their home. What follows are the reflections I shared at yesterday's funeral service. I hope you will find them to be a worthy description of what it's like to find your brain on grief. Click here to read the rest of this Provision.

Your Brain on Waiting

Laser Provision: February 12, 2012. Waiting. There's a reason people describe waiting as being in the meantime. Waiting can be mean and otherwise difficult. It's hard to put life on hold, to not know the future, and to make decisions with limited information. That's the space I am living in right now, in a hospital in Cleveland, Ohio, as I wait with my mother through a difficult health scare involving blood clots. The brain reels from the loss of certainty and the proleptic grief of what might be.

Yet waiting, especially this kind of waiting, is also a gift. It gets us to slow down and it reminds us of the things that are important. We live in faith that things are unfolding in mysterious and yet wonderful ways. There is no blame or shame in waiting. So we sit in the connection of this time -- with each other, with loved ones near and far, with the hospital staff, and with the Spirit of life itself. Wait with me for a time, if you are so inclined, to see if you too can feel the gift.

No one knows for sure where this will go, but I return now to waiting rather than to writing a normal Provision. My wish for you and for my mother is the same this week as every week:

May you be filled with goodness, peace, and joy.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Uniqueness_Matters

Laser Provision: Last week I wrote about the importance of uniformity when it comes to leadership. The focus there was on the quality of processes and outcomes when it comes to goods and services. Leaders make sure that quality is consistently high. But there is no uniform way for leaders to get that message across. There are as many different approaches as there are leaders. Personality and individuality are not the enemies of leadership, they are its essence. This Provision finishes our meandering through the alphabet with some reflections on the importance of uniqueness. Click here for the full Provision.

Coaching Inquiries: How would you describe your unique qualities and abilities? How well do you understand them? How well do you leverage them both for your own growth and for the growth of others? How might your uniqueness become more life-giving and performance-enhancing? Who could serve as a role model for you in this regard?

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Uniformity Matters

Laser Provision: When it comes to leadership, uniformity matters. That's obvious when it comes to manufacturing. There are specifications for every product and it just doesn't work if some products meet those specifications while others do not. Consumers expect a uniform level of quality from item to item, year after year. But uniformity is just as important when it comes to services. From one help desk representative to another, from one third-grade classroom to another, it is important for leaders to make sure that customers experience a consistent level of quality. That's a critical task of leadership as this Provision makes clear. Read on for more!

Coaching Inquiries: How uniform is the quality in the organizations and groups you lead? What would increase that uniformity? How could your conversations about quality become more engaging and productive? Who could you have one such conversation with today?

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Understanding Matters

Laser Provision: Two Provisions ago I wrote about the importance of knowledge when it comes to leadership. By knowledge I meant a clear grasp of what's important when it comes to leading organizations and optimizing performance. Best efforts are not enough. Best efforts without proper direction are doomed. To that end, I put forward Deming's theory of knowledge as a great framework for leaders. But knowledge without understanding is also doomed. Understanding enables leaders to translate knowledge into action. Is that one of your goals? Read on!

Coaching Inquiries: How would you describe your emotional intelligence? What kind of energy do you project? What kind of tone do you set with the people you lead? How would you describe the culture in your organization? What can you do to make it more of a coaching culture? With whom could you have an honest learning conversation today?

Kindness Matters

Laser Provision: Do you like stories? Then this is the Provision for you. It contains four stories, each of which illustrates an important principle when it comes to leadership: kindness matters. When leaders engage in either intentional or random acts of kindness, people notice. Such acts build trust and grease the wheels of change. If leaders want to make a difference in our organizations and in the world, then it behooves us to do kind things to others. When it comes to leadership, that may well be the perfect expression of the Golden Rule. What are those stories? Read on to find out about starfish, a Porsche, marathon runners, and W. Edwards Deming. Yes, even Deming was kind! Enjoy (click here for the full Provision).

Coaching Inquiries: When was the last time that you did a Random Act of Kindness? What about an Expected Act of Kindness? How would you describe your intention when it comes to kindness? When it comes to leadership, would people describe you as kindhearted or tough-as-nails? How is your way of being working for you? What might inspire you to be more kind? Who do you know who has been kind to you and how have you reciprocated in life and work?

Monday, February 06, 2012

Knowledge Matters

Laser Provision: Previously, I wrote about the importance of kaizen to leadership. Kaizen is the Japanese word for "good change," and it has come to be used in reference to continuous improvement and Total Quality Management or TQM. Unlike some quality systems that focus on inspections, quotas, and merit ratings to achieve quality, the system developed by W. Edwards Deming argues for constancy of purpose, pride of workmanship, and a no-fault learning environment where everyone, at all levels, is constantly and forever striving to improve operations. Which of the two sound better to you? Once you have the knowledge, there's no going back. Click here to read more!

Coaching Inquiries: How would you describe your knowledge of systems, variation, learning, and psychology? How do you relate to Deming's assertions as to the nature and importance of each? How might you become more familiar with this profound knowledge? What would be different about your leadership if that were to happen today?