Wisdom from Maya Angelou

Tis' the season for wisdom from famous people. Last week, we had ten lessons from Steve Jobs. This week, we feature eleven lessons from Maya Angelou, an American autobiographer and poet extraordinaire.
In April, Angelou was interviewed by Oprah on her 70+ birthday. Oprah asked her what she thought of growing older. She talked about it as exciting and amusing, especially all the physical changes which seemed to be occurring day. The audience laughed so hard they cried as she talked about the different parts of her body which were sagging in a seeming race to her waist. She is a plain-spoken and honest woman, with much wisdom in her words. Consider these life lessons:

1. I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.
2. I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.
3. I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.
4. I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as making a life.
5. I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.
6. I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back.
7. I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.
8. I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.
9. I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug or just a friendly pat on the back.
10. I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.
11. I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

Coaching Inquiries: How do you make people feel? What would people learn about you by watching how you handle a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights? What would it take for you to start making a life? How could that be more wonderful and life-giving?

We invite you to Contact Us using our Feedback Form if you are interested in learning more about LifeTrek Coaching or participating in our Evocative Coach Training Program.

Lessons from Steve Jobs

One of my clients recently alerted me to an article titled "10 Golden Lessons From Steve Jobs." I encourage you to read the whole article. For this high-level summary, I give you the ten quotes from Steve Jobs, co-founder and CEO of Apple Computers, around which the article is written. Enjoy!

1. "Innovation distinguishes between a leader and a follower."
2. "Be a yardstick of quality. Some people aren't used to an environment where excellence is expected."
3. "The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it."
4. "You know, we don't grow most of the food we eat. We wear clothes other people make. We speak a language that other people developed. We use a mathematics that other people evolved… I mean, we're constantly taking things. It's a wonderful, ecstatic feeling to create something that puts it back in the pool of human experience and knowledge."
5. "There's a phrase in Buddhism, 'Beginner's mind.' It's wonderful to have a beginner's mind."
6. "We think basically you watch television to turn your brain off, and you work on your computer when you want to turn your brain on."
7. "I'm the only person I know that's lost a quarter of a billion dollars in one year…. It's very character-building."
8. "I would trade all of my technology for an afternoon with Socrates."
9. "We're here to put a dent in the universe. Otherwise why else even be here?"
10. "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma -- which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."

Coaching Inquiries: Which of these lessons speak most powerfully to you and your situation? Of everyone who has ever lived, who would you like to spend the afternoon with? What questions would you ask? What truth would you contemplate? How can you follow your heart and intuition more fully?

We invite you to Contact Us using our Feedback Form if you are interested in learning more about LifeTrek Coaching or participating in our Evocative Coach Training Program.

Persistence Matters

Laser Provision: The military has a term for what happens when priorities and planning go awry: OBE -- Overtaken By Events. John Lennon put it this way: "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." We all know that feeling and experience. It is universal because no one controls life. But we can control our response to life. Do we quit or do we persist? Do we give up or do we hang on? Although it doesn't help to do the same thing over and over again expecting different results, it also doesn't help to stop looking for alternative approaches and goals. With lots of engaging quotes from notable leaders, this Provision shows you how. Read entire Provision...

Coaching Inquiries: What kind of mindset do you take in life and work? Would you describe yourself as more or less resilient? What brings out your resilience? What enables you to hang in there until you discover new possibilities and new ways forward? Who can be your persistence partner in whatever challenges you are facing?

To reply to this Provision, use our Feedback Form. To talk with us about coaching or consulting services for yourself or your organization, use our Contact for Coaching Form to arrange for a complimentary conversation.

Priorities Matter

Laser Provision: What things do you spend most of your time on? If you are like most people, you spend most of your time reacting to crises, deadlines, and pressing problems. No one gets away from such matters completely, but great leaders learn both how to set priorities and how to organize and execute around priorities. By taking a proactive stance in life and work we are better able to generate vision, perspective, balance, discipline, and control. We have fewer crises because we plan ahead. If that sounds like the third habit of highly successful people, then you're on to me! I hope you enjoy the Provision. Read entire Provision...

Coaching Inquiries: What kinds of activities do you spend your time on? How much time gets spent in Quadrant 2 activities? What rituals could you develop to help you get in that Quadrant more frequently? How could you get started today? Who could you talk with to identify the possibilities?

To reply to this Provision, use our Feedback Form. To talk with us about coaching or consulting services for yourself or your organization, use our Contact for Coaching Form to arrange for a complimentary conversation.

Stress Relief

A friend recently passed along these thoughts on stress. Give my own writing on Vital Rhythms, they fit right in and easily generate smiles. Enjoy.

A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, "How heavy is this glass of water?" Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g.

The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance."

"In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes," he continued, "and that's the way it is with stress management. If we carry all of our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on."

"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden. So, whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can. Don't pick them up again until after you've rested a while. They will then seem so much lighter."

Here are some great ways of dealing with the burdens of life:

• Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
• Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
• Always wear stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
• Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be "recalled" by their maker.
• If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
• It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to be kind to others.
• Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.
• Nobody cares if you can't dance well; just get up and dance.
• When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
• Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
• You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
• A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

Coching Inquiries: What burdens are you carrying right now? How could you set them down for a while? Who lightens your spirit and makes you laugh? What would it take to connect with that person right now? What might get you to smile?

We invite you to Contact Us using our Feedback Form if you are interested in learning more about LifeTrek Coaching or participating in our Evocative Coach Training Program.

Making Ideas Happen

There are many systems in the world for turning dreams into deeds. One of the better known is David Allen's, Getting Things Done. A more recent take on the subject is Scott Belsky's, Making Ideas Happen. Here is what Seth Godin, author of Linchpin, has to say about the book:

"Should you buy a book that will make you uncomfortable?

More questions: Why is it so difficult to ship good ideas out the door? Why do committees show up and wreck the purity of your idea? Why do people avoid doing the hard work of actually bringing their work to the market?

I'll tell you why: Because it's safe. Ideas that never ship are never criticized. Faceless committees accept the blame for tepid products that were probably better off in the warehouse. And managers in search of a place to hide can best hide behind the unshipped product, the unrealized idea and the system gone wrong.

Scott Belsky has your number. He's seen it all before. He knows your excuses, he's seen your shtick and he knows all the ways to avoid doing the work. In this book, Scott's not giving you any place to hide.

There. Do you still want to read his book?

If you care about your art, your job or your market, you really have no choice. This is strategy and tactics, concepts and how-to, all in one on a topic that's often overlooked."

Sound intriguing? I encourage you to give it a look.

Coaching Inquiries: How do you do when it comes to making ideas happen? Are you better at coming up with ideas in the first place (creativity) or following through on your ideas to make them happen (discipline and delivery)? Which muscle would you like to strengthen this week? Who could help you to make it so?

We invite you to Contact Us using our Feedback Form if you are interested in learning more about LifeTrek Coaching or participating in our Evocative Coach Training Program.

Mindful Eating

In many respects, great leadership is mindful leadership. We cultivate the ability to stay in the moment, without distraction or criticism, in order to bring out the best in ourselves and others. Great leaders therefore adopt mindfulness practices in all areas of life and work. To that end, I found the following tips on mindful eating by Dr. Jennifer Daly in the April issue of the Health Journal to be helpful:

• Always eat in a clean and quiet place either alone or with people you like.
• Look at your food and appreciate its appearance and smell before you eat.
• Chew your food slowly and attentively, concentrating on and appreciating its subtle qualities.
• Eat without distractions such as television, radio or other media.
• Only eat when you are truly hungry.
• Do not eat within 2 hours of bedtime.
• After exercise wait a while before eating to get an accurate gauge of
your hunger level.
• Walk about 100 steps after a meal to aid digestion.
• Do not eat when you are angry, depressed, bored or otherwise emotionally unstable. Instead, try to resolve these feelings first through stress management tools such as exercise (including yoga), meditation, or seeking the support of friends, family, a spiritual adviser or a mental health professional.

Now, have some fun with this list. Substitute the word "lead" for the word "eat," and the word "people" for "food." Read the list again. What new ideas do those substitutions bring to mind? Hopefully, the exercise will encourage you to become both a more mindful eater and a more mindful leader at the same time.

Coaching Inquiries: What does mindfulness mean to you? How can you become more mindful in how you relate to eating and leadership? What benefits might you experience? What benefits might others experience? Who can join you on the path to mindfulness? How could you make it so today?

We invite you to Contact Us using our Feedback Form if you are interested in learning more about LifeTrek Coaching or participating in our Evocative Coach Training Program.

Rituals Matter

Laser Provision: Our effectiveness at work declines if we are always on the go. That's why great leaders develop regular, reflective rituals. We find ways to step back and to connect with purpose, plans, and people. That's what makes great leaders so refreshing to be around. Instead of wearing people out with nonstop performance momentum, great leaders infuse people with energy by knowing just when to push and when to pull back. It's an intuitive dance but it doesn't materialize out of thin air. It's cultivated one day and one ritual at a time. If you don't have such rituals, then this Provision will give you at least 11 ideas. I encourage you to go out and make at least one of them your own. Read entire Provision...

Coaching Inquiries: Who do you think of as a great leader? What do you know about the things they do when you're not around? How could you find out more? What questions do you have? How could incorporate your discoveries into your everyday life? What rituals make the most sense for you?

To reply to this Provision, use our Feedback Form. To talk with us about coaching or consulting services for yourself or your organization, use our Contact for Coaching Form to arrange for a complimentary conversation.

We Are What We Celebrate

Great leaders understand not only the importance of developing our own reflective rituals, but also the importance developing collective rituals that help to bring out the best in the people and organizations we lead. A collection of essays that takes this to the level of religious, national, and cultural traditions is titled We Are What We Celebrate: Understanding Holidays and Rituals by Jared Bloom and Amitai Etzioni.

Here is the book description; I encourage you to look into it if you can.

How did Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday become a national holiday? Why do we exchange presents on Christmas and Chanukah? What do bunnies have to do with Easter? How did Earth Day become a global holiday? These questions and more are answered in this fascinating exploration into the history and meaning of holidays and rituals. Edited by Amitai Etzioni, one of the most influential social and political thinkers of our time, this collection provides a compelling overview of the impact that holidays and rituals have on our family and communal life.

From community solidarity to ethnic relations to religious traditions, We Are What We Celebrate argues that holidays such as Halloween, Fourth of July, Thanksgiving, New Year's Eve, and Valentine's Day play an important role in reinforcing, and sometimes redefining, our values as a society. The collection brings together classic and original essays that, for the first time, offer a comprehensive overview and analysis of the important role such celebrations play in maintaining a moral order as well as in cementing family bonds, building community relations and creating national identity. The essays cover such topics as the creation of Thanksgiving as a national holiday; the importance of holidays for children; the mainstreaming of Kwanzaa; and the controversy over Columbus Day celebrations.

Compelling and often surprising, this look at holidays and rituals brings new meaning to not just the ways we celebrate but to what those celebrations tell us about ourselves and our communities.

Coaching Inquiries: What are the celebrations and rituals in your organization? How can you influence them or even set up new ones? How can you make them more celebratory and regular? Who could you involve in the process of stimulating a ritual makeover?

We invite you to Contact Us using our Feedback Form if you are interested in learning more about LifeTrek Coaching or participating in our Evocative Coach Training Program.

Relationships Matter

Laser Provision: Great leaders don't just get things done; great leaders get things done through people. That's the definition of leadership. Unfortunately, all too many leaders neglect or even violate the people side of the equation. We become so focused on getting things done that the needs of people get stepped on or trounced in the process. "Do whatever it takes!" If that sounds like you, then I encourage you to read on. This Provision is an invitation to think again. The needs of people must always be respected, honored, and met; otherwise, results suffer and leaders fail to get things done. Read entire Provision...

Coaching Inquiries: What kind of attention do you pay to relationships? Do you inspire trust in the people you work with? What needs do you naturally pay attention to and honor? What needs are you more likely to overlook or neglect? How can you become a more holistic leader? Who can help you to get where you want to go?

To reply to this Provision, use our Feedback Form. To talk with us about coaching or consulting services for yourself or your organization, use our Contact for Coaching Form to arrange for a complimentary conversation.

Seven Archetypal Stories

It has been said that there are only seven archetypal stories. In his book, The Seven Basic Plots: Why We Tell Stories, Christopher Booker describes them this way:

1. Overcoming the Monster
2. Rags to Riches
3. A journey -- the Quest
4. A journey -- the Voyage and Return
5. Comedies
6. Tragedies
7. Rebirth

In the context of organizations, these stories often answer the following questions:

1. What happens when someone breaks the rules?
2. Is the big boss human?
3. Can the little person rise to the top?
4. Will I get fired?
5. Will the organization help me?
6. How will the boss react to mistakes?
7. How will the organization deal with obstacles?

Understanding how these stories circulate around the proverbial water cooler, trustworthy leaders make sure that people have positive stories to tell.

Coaching Inquiries: What kind of stories circulate in your organization? What kind of stories circulate about you, as leader? Who could tell you the truth about that? How can you shift the stories that are being told in a positive direction? What kinds of things do you want to pay attention to in order to make that happen?

We invite you to Contact Us using our Feedback Form if you are interested in learning more about LifeTrek Coaching or participating in our Evocative Coach Training Program.

Results Matter

Laser Provision: Great leaders get things done. Instead of getting attached to particular strategies, and then becoming disheartened when they don't work out, great leaders stay focused on universal needs, and then become energized for seeing them satisfied one way or another. That is the desire that burns in the heart of leaders. To see that desire through, great leaders cultivate optimism, creativity, and persistence. It may not be easy to get from here to there, but we can rise to the challenge and enjoy the ride. Read on to find out how. Read entire Provision...

Coaching Inquiries: What is your framework when it comes to your goals and desires? How optimistic, creative, and persistent are you? How could you strengthen those leadership muscles? What contribution could you make that would bring you the most amount of joy and fill you with the most amount of juice? Who could join you in that quest?

To reply to this Provision, use our Feedback Form. To talk with us about coaching or consulting services for yourself or your organization, use our Contact for Coaching Form to arrange for a complimentary conversation.

Energy in Leadership

My friend and colleague, Marcia Reynolds, has written about the role of persistence in life and work, in her article "A Healthy Supply of Energy is Needed for Success." How do we know when to hang in there and keep trying? How do we know when to scrap a strategy and to head off in a new direction? She suggests that we conduct an "Energy Allocation Exercise" to chart our course and determine our path. Here's a synopsis of the exercise:

Step 1. Divide a sheet of paper in half. Label the left side "Can’t Control" and the right, "Can Control." Now think about the specific goal you’re struggling to achieve.

Step 2. Under "Can’t Control," list the aspects of the situation that you’re unable to change. Be honest with yourself. If the person’s mind you are trying to alter or the people guarding the policy you’re trying to revise haven’t budged in months, it’s safe to say you’re wasting your time.

Step 3. In the "Can Control" column, list the aspects that are within your power to affect. Include yourself--your willingness to deal with the situation, your mindset and attitude, and the emotions that you need to feel so you can shift out of complaining and into action. Include everything within your "response-ability."

Step 4. Return to column one, your "Can’t Control" list. How much energy do you put into these items, including complaining or worrying about them? These are your dead horses. You need to quit putting energy into what you can't control. You can kick your dead horses all you want, but they won’t budge. It may take time to bury a dead horse, but you’ll feel better when it’s over. As hard as that may be, heed the wisdom of George Bernard Shaw who said, "Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything."

Step 5. Review the right column, your "Can Control" list. Which of these items are you working on now? Are there any you can commit to doing or beginning today? Place a check mark next to each item you will activate immediately. This is where you should expend your energy. Few excuses justify inaction in this column. If you feel trapped or helpless, direct your energy to where you can take charge.

The Energy Allocation Exercise is another way to get at the distinction between needs and strategies. Confusing the two always gets us into trouble. If our energy is dwindling or in short supply, then chances are we have gotten hooked on a strategy. When that happens, sorting through our priorities and possibilities can set us on the right path, all over again.

Coaching Inquiries: What is happening with your energy right now? Is it waxing or waning? What things give you energy? How could you do those things more consistently and joyfully? Who could support you in the process?

We invite you to Contact Us using our Feedback Form if you are interested in learning more about LifeTrek Coaching or participating in our Evocative Coach Training Program.

50,000 Daffodils

Thanks to CL for passing along this anonymous and beautiful story!

Several times my daughter had telephoned to say, "Mother, you must come to see the daffodils before they are over." I wanted to go, but it was a two-hour drive from Laguna to Lake Arrowhead "I will come next Tuesday", I promised a little reluctantly on her third call.

Next Tuesday dawned cold and rainy. Still, I had promised, and reluctantly I drove there. When I finally walked into Carolyn's house I was welcomed by the joyful sounds of happy children. I delightedly hugged and greeted my grandchildren.

"Forget the daffodils, Carolyn! The road is invisible in these clouds and fog, and there is nothing in the world except you and these children that I want to see badly enough to drive another inch!" My daughter smiled calmly and said, "We drive in this all the time, Mother." "Well, you won't get me back on the road until it clears, and then I'm heading for home!" I assured her.

"But first we're going to see the daffodils. It's just a few blocks," Carolyn said. "I'll drive. I'm used to this." "Carolyn," I said sternly, "please turn around." "It's all right, Mother, I promise. You will never forgive yourself if you miss this experience."

After about twenty minutes, we turned onto a small gravel road and I saw a small church. On the far side of the church, I saw a hand lettered sign with an arrow that read, "Daffodil Garden." We got out of the car, each took a child's hand, and I followed Carolyn down the path. Then, as we turned a corner, I looked up and gasped. Before me lay the most glorious sight.

It looked as though someone had taken a great vat of gold and poured it over the mountain peak and its surrounding slopes. The flowers were planted in majestic, swirling patterns, great ribbons and swaths of deep orange, creamy white, lemon yellow, salmon pink, and saffron and butter yellow. Each different-colored variety was planted in large groups so that it swirled and flowed like its own river with its own unique hue. There were five acres of flowers.

"Who did this?" I asked Carolyn. "Just one woman," Carolyn answered. "She lives on the property. That's her home." Carolyn pointed to a well-kept A-frame house, small and modestly sitting in the midst of all that glory. We walked up to the house.

On the patio, we saw a poster. "Answers to the Questions I Know You Are Asking", was the headline. The first answer was a simple one. "50,000 bulbs," it read. The second answer was, "One at a time, by one woman. Two hands, two feet, and one brain." The third answer was, "Began in 1958."

For me, that moment was a life-changing experience. I thought of this woman whom I had never met, who, more than forty years before, had begun, one bulb at a time, to bring her vision of beauty and joy to an obscure mountaintop. Planting one bulb at a time, year after year, this unknown woman had forever changed the world in which she lived. One day at a time, she had created something of extraordinary magnificence, beauty, and inspiration. The principle her daffodil garden taught is one of the greatest principles of celebration.

That is, learning to move toward our goals and desires one step at a time--often just one baby-step at time--and learning to love the doing, learning to use the accumulation of time. When we multiply tiny pieces of time with small increments of daily effort, we too will find we can accomplish magnificent things. We can change the world ...

"It makes me sad in a way," I admitted to Carolyn. "What might I have accomplished if I had thought of a wonderful goal thirty-five or forty years ago and had worked away at it 'one bulb at a time' through all those years? Just think what I might have been able to achieve!"

My daughter summed up the message of the day in her usual direct way. "Start tomorrow," she said. She was right. It's so pointless to think of the lost hours of yesterdays. The way to make learning a lesson of celebration instead of a cause for regret is to only ask, "How can I put this to use today?" Use the Daffodil Principle. Stop waiting..... 

• Until your car or home is paid off
• Until you get a new car or home
• Until your kids leave the house
• Until you go back to school
• Until you finish school
• Until you clean the house
• Until you organize the garage
• Until you clean off your desk
• Until you lose 10 lbs.
• Until you gain 10 lbs.
• Until you get married
• Until you get a divorce
• Until you have kids
• Until the kids go to school
• Until you retire
• Until summer
• Until spring
• Until winter
• Until fall
• Until you die...

There is no better time than right now to be happy.

Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

So work like you don't need money.

Love like you've never been hurt, and, Dance like no one's watching.

 

Wishing you a beautiful, daffodil day! Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.

 

We invite you to Contact Us using our Feedback Form if you are interested in learning more about LifeTrek Coaching or participating in our Evocative Coach Training Program.

Evocative Coaching YouTube Videos

If you have been reading our material for any length of time, then you know that together with my wife and colleague, Megan Tschannen-Moran, I have written a new book titled Evocative Coaching: Transforming Schools One Conversation at a Time. The book comes out in July.

We plan on using and marketing the book in many ways. Megan, who teaches educational leadership at the College of William and Mary, plans to use the book in one of her classes. We also plan to use it as the core textbook for a coach training program that focuses on coaching in K-12 schools. You can find out more about that by going to http://www.evocativecoaching.com/.

To spread the news about our program, and to help explain our coaching model to those who are interested, we just posted three videos on YouTube that came out of a recent presentation to the Training and Technical Assistance Center at the College of William and Mary in Williamsburg, Virginia. I hope you will follow the links, watch and rate the videos, post a comment, and otherwise let us know your thoughts and feelings. Thanks!

Our YouTube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/evocativecoaching

• Evocative Coaching in Schools: Part 1 of 3
• Evocative Coaching in Schools: Part 2 of 3
• Evocative Coaching in Schools: Part 3 of 3

Coaching Inquiries: What is your interest when it comes to the work of schools? How could you assist schools to be more productive and rewarding places? If you don't work in a school, would you be willing to volunteer in one? What would you most enjoy doing?

We invite you to Contact Us using our Feedback Form if you are interested in learning more about LifeTrek Coaching or participating in our Evocative Coach Training Program.

Leadership 101

Laser Provision: In the USA, it's March Madness when it comes to college basketball. The top teams, male and female, in every division are in the midst of their playoffs. One thing every team has in common is that every team has a coach. This designated leader is responsible for recruitment, training, strategy, practice, and execution on the court. The buck stops there when it comes to leadership. One of the more legendary coaches is "Coach K" from Duke University. What's the secret to his success? Nurturing relationships, building infrastructure, and establishing high standards. With that, we kick off our new Provision series on leadership. Read Entire Provision...

Coaching Inquiries: What leadership responsibilities do you hold? In what ways to you nurture relationships? Build infrastructure? Establish high standards? How would you describe those standards? How well do you live by them? Who could assist you to clarify and strengthen your standards?

To reply to this Provision, use our Feedback Form. To talk with us about coaching or consulting services for yourself or your organization, use our Contact for Coaching Form to arrange for a complimentary conversation.

Coach K Leadership Quotes

Now that Duke has advanced to the Sweet 16 in the NCAA men's basketball tournament, I thought you might enjoy these "Coach K" leadership quotes:

• "I don’t look at myself as a basketball coach. I look at myself as a leader who happens to coach basketball."
• "Effective teamwork begins and ends with communication."
• "Too many rules get in the way of leadership. They just put you in a box...People set rules to keep from making decisions."
• "People have to be given the freedom to show the heart they possess. I think it’s a leader’s responsibility to provide that type of freedom. And I believe it can be done through relationships and family. Because if a team is a real family, it’s members want to show you their hearts."
• "Confrontation simply means meeting the truth head-on."
• "During critical periods, a leader is not allowed to feel sorry for himself, to be down, to be angry, or to be weak. Leaders must beat back these emotions."
• "Leaders have to give time for relationships. But more demands will be placed on their time as they become more successful. So if a person’s success is based on developing relationships, then they have to continually find new ways of getting it done."
• "Every leader needs to remember that a healthy respect for authority takes time to develop. It’s like building trust. You don’t instantly have trust, it has to be earned."
• "Leaders should be reliable without being predictable. They should be consistent without being anticipated."

Coaching Inquiries: Which of these quotes speak to you? Which ones concern you? How can you bring their wisdom into your own life? How can you become more of a leader from whatever position you play? How can you empower others to be great?

We invite you to Contact Us using our Feedback Form if you are interested in learning more about LifeTrek Coaching or participating in our Evocative Coach Training Program.

Guidelines for Living with Children

Just in case you have not had enough Guidelines for Living, the North Carolina Developmental Behavioral Pediatrics Online website offers the following 10 Guidelines for Living with Children. If you find them interesting or want to learn more, I encourage to visit their site for a full description.

1. "Catch 'em being good." -- The single most important rule in living with a child is to find things to praise
2. "Let them help you." -- The second most important rule is to let your children help you
3. Monitor your children. -- When your children are playing quietly, catch them being good! Don't ignore them.
4. Home routines and responsibilities should (within reason) be orderly and predictable.
5. Discipline and enforcement of discipline should be as matter of fact as possible. -- Follow through with logical consequences.
6. Lectures belong in lecture halls; not in homes. -- Do not lecture your children, not even under the guise of reasoning with them.
7. Show sympathy when you discipline. -- Be empathetic but don't give in.
8. Prompting and modeling, or imitating. -- Children learn by what they see, and hear you and others do.
9. Be a mother, not a martyr. -- Find a good babysitter or preschool, and take a breather.
10. Parents are teachers. -- Whether you program it or not, whether you intend it or not, you teach your children through your interactions with them. What you do is more important than what you say.

Coaching Inquiries: Who are the children in your life? What do they learn from how you live your life? When was the last time you went looking for something to celebrate and appreciate? How have you called that to their attention? What would assist you to become a better role model?

We invite you to Contact Us using our Feedback Form if you are interested in learning more about LifeTrek Coaching or participating in our Evocative Coach Training Program.

Eleven Commandments

Laser Provision: After four months of comparing and contrasting seven different sets of Ten Commandments in my weekly email newsletter, LifeTrek Provisions, it's time to bring this series to a close. So today, if you click through to read the entire Provision, I present my top Eleven Commandments or Guidelines for Living, one right after another. If you've been reading along, then these will be familiar to you. If you are checking this out now, for the first time, then you will get four months of Provisions in one single dose. Either way, I hope you will find this summary to be both helpful and inspirational. I even add a few new pieces that haven't come before. Enjoy! Read Entire Provision...

Coaching Inquiries: What are your guidelines for living? How do they manifest in your life? Which of the above guidelines make the most sense to you? Which ones challenge the way you go about living and organizing your life? Who embodies these guidelines and could serve as role models for you? How could you get closer to them in life and work?

To reply to this Provision, use our Feedback Form. To talk with us about coaching or consulting services for yourself or your organization, use our Contact for Coaching Form to arrange for a complimentary conversation.

Forgiveness Health Benefits

MayoClinic.com identifies the following health benefits of forgiveness:

• Less stress and hostility
• Lower blood pressure
• Fewer symptoms of depression, anxiety and chronic pain
• Lower risk of alcohol and substance abuse
• Healthier relationships
• Geater spiritual and psychological well-being

How do we do that? Here is their recommendation for reaching a state of forgiveness:

"Forgiveness is a commitment to a process of change. A way to begin is by recognizing the value of forgiveness and its importance in your life at a given time. Then reflect on the facts of the situation, how you've reacted, and how this combination has affected your life, health and well-being. When you're ready, actively choose to forgive the person who's offended you. Move away from your role as victim and release the control and power the offending person and situation have had in your life. As you let go of grudges, you'll no longer define your life by how you've been hurt. You may even find compassion and understanding."

Coaching Inquiries: How would your health and well being benefit through the practice of forgiveness? What's stopping you from doing that work today?

We invite you to Contact Us using our Feedback Form if you are interested in learning more about LifeTrek Coaching or participating in our Evocative Coach Training Program.

Be Forgiving

Laser Provision: Have you ever held a grudge? Are you holding one right now? Last week I wrote about the importance of fairness, but fairness without forgiveness can become an obsession. It can eat away at our spirits as we connive and strive to see justice done. Forgiveness is the mitigating factor that releases our bondage to enemy images and aggressive actions. It demands courage and integrity, but it is never too late to forgive. If, when, and how that happens is up to us; this Provision simply points out the value of forgiveness when it comes to making life more wonderful. Read Entire Provision...

Coaching Inquiries: How ready are you to forgive? What has been bothering you and eating away at your heart? What combination of fairness and forgiveness will release your spirit? What and who could assist to get to that place?

To reply to this Provision, use our Feedback Form. To talk with us about coaching or consulting services for yourself or your organization, use our Contact for Coaching Form to arrange for a complimentary conversation.

Be Fair

Laser Provision: Fairness conjures up notions of even-handed accounting. Think balance scales, with no one having more or less than anyone else. Although a case can be made for some measure of economic parity in life, fairness also means giving all people the opportunity to meet their needs. This goes far beyond subsistence-level accounting; it goes to the heart of what makes life worth living. When we honor, respect, and cooperate with the strivings of people to meet their many different needs, we make life much more meaningful and satisfying for all. Read entire Provision...

Coaching Inquiries: How do you understand the notion of fairness? Do people treat you fairly? Do you treat other people fairly? How can you assist people to experience more satisfaction in life and work? Who serves as a role model for you in this regard? How can you experience more satisfaction in your own life and work? What's stopping you from doing that today?

To reply to this Provision, use our Feedback Form. To talk with us about coaching or consulting services for yourself or your organization, use our Contact for Coaching Form to arrange for a complimentary conversation.

Food, Inc.

How do we meet our needs for clean, healthy food? Having just seen the movie, Food, Inc., it's not that easy anymore. With the growth of the world's population, and the consolidation of that population into cities, agriculture has become big business that taxes the very fabric of life. Plants and animals were not meant to be manipulated into ever higher yields and rapid growth curves; doing so has stressed the system and put our health at risk.

Proponents of agribusiness would argue that this system is the only way to feed the world. Huge, consolidated, high-consuming populations require huge, consolidated, high-yield farming, feeding, and slaughtering operations. That represents what I once called the Planetary Predicament: what's good for individuals and local communities may not produce enough calories to feed 6.5 billion people (let alone the predicted 9.5 billion people by 2050).

Others disagree, however, arguing that huge, consolidated, high-yield farming, feeding, and slaughtering operations may collapse under the weight of disease and detritus. Nature has its ways, and the jury is out as to our long-term ability to go against the grain. Such concerns argue for a more local, distributed, and sustainable approach to the consumption and production of food. If you share that concern, here are ten simple things you can do to make our food system more fair according to Takepart.com:

1. Stop drinking sodas and other sweetened beverages.
2. Eat at home instead of eating out.
3. Support the passage of laws requiring chain restaurants to post calorie information on menus and menu boards.
4. Tell schools to stop selling sodas, junk food, and sports drinks.
5. Meatless Mondays -- Go without meat one day a week.
6. Buy organic or sustainable food with little or no pesticides.
7. Protect family farms; visit your local farmer's market.
8. Make a point to know where your food comes from -- READ LABELS.
9. Tell your government that food safety is important to you.
10. Demand job protections for farm workers and food processors, ensuring fair wages and other protections.

Coaching Inquiries: What concerns do you have about the food you eat and the liquids you drink? What would you be willing to do to make our food system more fair? Who could join you in the cause? How could you act together to make life better for all?

We invite you to Contact Us using our Feedback Form if you are interested in learning more about LifeTrek Coaching or participating in our Evocative Coach Training Program.

Evocative Coaching Book Contents Unveiled!

We've just posted the cover, coaching model, and table of contents to our new book, Evocative Coaching: Transforming Schools One Conversation at a Time. You can view these materials by visiting our companion website, http://www.evocativecoaching.com/, or going directly to the PDF file.

The book will be in bookstores in July, and can be pre-ordered today through Amazon and other online book sellers. The book forms the basis of a 12-week coach training program, launching in September, that is ideal for anyone concerned about or tasked with the responsibility for improving the performance of teachers in schools. That includes school leaders, instructional coaches, teachers, and other professional educators. The program can also be helpful to those coaching in other organizational settings.

By learning the art of Story Listening, Expressing Empathy, Appreciative Inquiry, and Design Thinking, we become better able to find our voice and design approaches that work. When we shift awareness and structure conversations using the Evocative Coaching model, new possibilities emerge for enlivening performance improvement and learning conversations. Whether you want to do that for yourself or to help others, this enjoyable and fast-paced training program can make a real difference. We invite you to give it a try. Find out more...

Nurture Planet Earth

Laser Provision: This truth applies to one and all: we are duty bound to protect and nurture planet earth. Buckminster Fuller long ago challenged us to "do more with less" if we hope to keep this "spaceship earth" in good working order. Others have recognized the need to develop sustainable energy economies and environmental practices. From the micro level of our individual decisions to the macro level of our global policies, our planet is straining under the weight of over-consumption and over-production. Can we do better? This Provision suggests we can and argues we must. Read full article...

Coaching Inquiries: How would you evaluate your "green" consciousness? What is one thing you do to help conserve energy, preserve the environment, and/or advance "green" policies? How can you take a few more steps in the right direction? Who could become your partner in nurturing planet earth?

To reply to this Provision, use our Feedback Form. To talk with us about coaching or consulting services for yourself or your organization, use our Contact for Coaching Form to arrange for a complimentary conversation.